Miss Unprepared

If I had a dollar for every time I listened to bad advice at college I would definitely be a millionaire. people here think they are so smart and know everything. hey, relax people now i know that you are no different than me you are just a immature and irresponsible as me. In fact it seems even more than i could ever be. wow. this world has not surprised me again. Persistence is pays off. patience is a virtue... which is true?                                                                                                                                                             

The battle.

Well. It seems like a an at a strange place in life. Ya know those days when ur look at your life and think about how it's completely different than what u imagined it would be. Almost as if you let your old self down. There's so much I wish I could go back and tell myself. Life seriously needs humor. With out it life kinda sucks. Don't take people seriously... Bit the thing is if you don't take them serious they won't take you serious and then that's were the problem starts. I feel like I almost create problems for myself too... For example someone close to me has resently told me im insecure. Well I'm not just for the record. Maybe right now I'm not as proud of my body cuz I'm kinda out of shape, maybe like eveygirl I pms and have those days where all I need is someone to just be there and build me back up when I'm falling apart. No lie we all kno we get like that. Right now I'm at like the falling part in life. Everything seems to be crashing down on me all at once. College planning, school, friends... Ya know how things add up. Well it does and right now it is. Kinda alot. This doesn't mean i'm insecure it just means I need reenforcements in my battle against the world...

henry.

sooo henry... u sometimes really make me mad cuz your "perfect" at saying the most "perfect" not right thing aka the wrong thing. congrats. its an amazing talent. i don't know how u do it. wether it be comparing me too ummm... yeah that girl. or some how i end up liking you at the end of the day because of it. why? God only knows for sure, but im thinking it might be some of these reasons... when u do say the right thing it means even more, when u actually do something romantic its like, woah, so i remember it.  i know im horrible also at saying the right things yes i do like making you mad i wont lie. im just pushing for an reaction, like some type of emotion. i love those stupid cheesy romantic stuff im figuring out... well more the super funny ones. but i know why your lack of being in touch with your romantic side works is cuz i hate it when people go through the motions and you deff don't! i kno you always mean well. and so do i. i might be bad at showing it or i might be bad at talking through fights. but hey who is really good at that? not us! but we are getting better to say in our defense. oh just a recap on me... fav color=yellow, fav drink= (ur fired if you don't know), i like dark chocolate, i currently think bunnies are cute, i like chick flicks, i like it when u hold my hand, i would rather go on a walk then watch tv, i still dress up for you (and i even include boots), it makes me laugh that you don't care about sunsets cuz i love them but my favorite part is after a sunset like when everything is black against a yellow sky, i want you to write me a letter. don't worry i will write back :)

i'll be textin u...

    

responsiblity.

there is something about being responsible that i can't get. either its the remembering to do something with out being told.. umm i have bad memory? or making the right decision...well. i did what i thought was the right thing!       

                                                         Definition of RESPONSIBLE

1

a : liable to be called on to answer b (1) : liable to be called to account as the primary cause, motive, or agent <a committee responsible for the job> (2) : being the cause or explanation <mechanical defects were responsible for the accident> c : liable to legal review or in case of fault to penalties

2

a : able to answer for one's conduct and obligations : trustworthy b : able to choose for oneself between right and wrong

3

: marked by or involving responsibility or accountability

i have though gotten really good at covering up for my lack of responsibility. but i think that this is not  talent that should be encouraged. its bad. i know it. it just seems every time i try to be this big responsible person i get so over whelmed i want to vomit. and then i think if i see other people around me be this so called responsible teen i think why is it so hard for me to be something that's so easy for them. then i realize that those people aren't spontanious, they didn't spend college savings on clothes, or "accidently" forget to sign up for the ASAT. those people have been blessed with a strict mind set and i bet are great at completing lists. they have their little plans they know what they want to do in this world. i don't. i feel like that's a crap load of responsibility. to decide the rest of your life like today. there are some little parts of responsibilitly i think are good though... like being able to take responsibility for my actions. yeah sometimes my actions or decisions my not be so called "responsible" im still gonna stand by them. and take what the world throws at me cuz of them. hahaha ok maybe i'll try to do that, is more like it. yeah my goal to trying to be responsible stand behind my decisions... but i know i'll stay...