responsiblity.

there is something about being responsible that i can't get. either its the remembering to do something with out being told.. umm i have bad memory? or making the right decision...well. i did what i thought was the right thing!       

                                                         Definition of RESPONSIBLE

1

a : liable to be called on to answer b (1) : liable to be called to account as the primary cause, motive, or agent <a committee responsible for the job> (2) : being the cause or explanation <mechanical defects were responsible for the accident> c : liable to legal review or in case of fault to penalties

2

a : able to answer for one's conduct and obligations : trustworthy b : able to choose for oneself between right and wrong

3

: marked by or involving responsibility or accountability

i have though gotten really good at covering up for my lack of responsibility. but i think that this is not  talent that should be encouraged. its bad. i know it. it just seems every time i try to be this big responsible person i get so over whelmed i want to vomit. and then i think if i see other people around me be this so called responsible teen i think why is it so hard for me to be something that's so easy for them. then i realize that those people aren't spontanious, they didn't spend college savings on clothes, or "accidently" forget to sign up for the ASAT. those people have been blessed with a strict mind set and i bet are great at completing lists. they have their little plans they know what they want to do in this world. i don't. i feel like that's a crap load of responsibility. to decide the rest of your life like today. there are some little parts of responsibilitly i think are good though... like being able to take responsibility for my actions. yeah sometimes my actions or decisions my not be so called "responsible" im still gonna stand by them. and take what the world throws at me cuz of them. hahaha ok maybe i'll try to do that, is more like it. yeah my goal to trying to be responsible stand behind my decisions... but i know i'll stay...